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Femi Fani-Kayode: A Political Prostitute

Updated: Oct 24, 2021

By Adeleke Adefioye

Instinctively, I have an insuppressible aptitude for writing which I always do periodically about societal ills that mostly affect humanity. For some time now, I took a break as work-related projects and personal endeavors kicked time out of my firm grip. However, recent events unfolding at the political scene in Nigeria couldn’t evade an honorable mention. From the increasing insecurity of lives to the incessant defections of political jobbers, the events are too disturbing and annoying to ignore.

For me, it is extremely impossible to look the other way when I see actions that are inimical to the wellbeing of humans and in this case, Nigerians. If politicians continue to embrace ‘what’s in it for me’ mentality as against ‘what’s in it for the entirety of the people,’ the light would eventually go out on the little hope that Nigeria and Nigerians currently hang on to.

Femi Fani-Kayode is one of the numerous politicians in Nigeria who drives in the opposite direction of progressive traffic. His recent defection hopping from Peoples Democratic Party, PDP, to All Progressive Congress, APC, is reminiscent of a typical career politician in Nigeria. Such action is, no doubt, synonymous with prostitution.

Femi is a parasite. His strategy is both horrible and terrible at the same time. He tends to live largely off a ruling party and then acts as a spy within the same party as soon as the party loses power and then ditches the party to frolic and romance with the new party in power. This heinous and unpatriotic strategy qualifies Femi as a seasoned political prostitute.

FFK, as he is fondly called within the political arena, operates more like a professional boxer. Prior to stepping into the ring to lock horns with an opponent, a boxer studies the strengths and weaknesses of his would-be opponent. He would closely review the punches thrown vis-à-vis the strength of those punches. He would also evaluate what side of the fist delivers a more deadly blow.

Aside from evaluating all of these, a boxer releases his rigorous and vigorous training sessions to the public domain alongside footage of his past victorious fights. This he does with an intention to intimidate his would-be opponent(s). When he eventually steps into the ring, he would rely on the data earlier collected about his opponent to launch a combat. First and foremost, he would try, in the best way he could, to either consciously avoid receiving jabs from the opponent’s most deadly punch-launch side he had earlier identified or try to incapacitate the source of the deadly launch.

This is true about Femi. His most effective tool is his uncontrollable razor-sharp tongue hidden right inside his ever-runny mouth that secrets deadly political venom. He studies the antecedents of his perceived political opponents and launches verbal jabs and eloquent-charged uppercuts. This he does so perfectly to deceive unsuspecting Nigerians and party members in a determined bid to present himself as the man of the people.

Unfortunately, before the dust of his launched grenade settles, he would magically appear in the political camp of the grenade destination to douse the devastating impact of his launched grenade. Before you blink an eye, he’s already plotting to blow off the political camp from where he launched the grenade. What an evil genius!

Femi has always proven that he’s not a stable person. This is not my assessment of him. He confirmed the assertion himself. During a press conference when he was hosted by Benedict Bengioushuye Ayade, the Governor of Cross River State, he literally lost control of himself responding to a question by a journalist who requested to know who bankrolls his unexplainable dumb expeditions to PDP-controlled states.

Femi did not only avoid providing a response to the question, but he also ended up ranting incoherently. At some point, he confirmed that he has a ‘short fuse.’ Whatever that meant, he explained by blowing hot and spewing unprintable words endlessly and almost got up from his seat to punch the journalist.

Personally, what I hated the most was that the journalist was so intimidated that he ended up apologizing for asking the right question. Whatever happens to doing the right thing and putting your foot on the ground. I instantly wished a more confident journalist who understands the ethics of the profession had traded place with that journalist and marched Femi ‘fire for fire,’ Femi would have learnt his lessons and would have understood the fact that opening one’s mouth is not all it takes to be relevant but coordinating what comes out of one’s mouth is what makes a man an omoluabi (in Yoruba language, omoluabi translates to a responsible person).

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out the main reason for the dumb expedition he embarked on at the time. The expedition was sold to the public as an attempt to evaluate the projects of the PDP Governors. The question I asked at the time was ‘in what capacity is he evaluating state projects?’

If anyone watched very closely, Ayade defected and joined APC after Femi’s purported project-evaluation visit. Then, while Femi was speaking during a ‘welcome to APC’ ceremony organized for him at the presidency, he literally mentioned names of some notable PDP chieftains and governors that are expected to ditch PDP and cross over to APC and some of them he visited during his dumb expedition. Do Nigerians need a soothsayer to reveal the reason behind Femi’s weird PDP states’ tour? Is it not glaring that it was designed to ‘win souls’ for APC? Basically, this evil genius was working for APC while flying PDP’s flag.

It is still a mystery that some Nigerians still fall for his manipulation. If you’re not a fan of General Olusegun Obasanjo (rtd), you would, at least, give him credit for one thing. He could evaluate and assess people based on their behavioral pattern. He was right about Femi. If you need him on your side, all you need to do is dangle the cash bait. That was exactly what APC did and Femi instantaneously dropped integrity (if he ever had any left), decency, morals, fairness and personal pride and literally traced his way back to his vomit for dinner.

It is unbelievable to realize the new strategy trending in Nigeria these days. A crop of unscrupulous politicians just wakes up early in the morning on their PDP-designed beds and go to bed at nights on their APC-infected beds with claims of being instructed by the ‘Holy Spirit.’ One would think that with the rate at which they receive instructions from the ‘holy spirit’, a considerable number of them would have received instructions on how to proffer solution to the numerous political and social issues contending with the nation’s economic growth.

Femi is not an exception. As a matter of fact, he takes his own version of ‘Holy Spirit Instruction’ to the next level by claiming he stands for and with his ‘core values.’ Ironically, the purported ‘core values’ always magically disappear, and he is always bought over by the ruling party like a cheap article that he is.

Determined to cover his exposed behind, he shamelessly claimed to still possess his imaginary and non-existing ‘core values’ with a promise to keep ‘fighting’ from within the camp of his newly found strange-fellow assembly ground. What soldier fights a war from within the enemy infantry? You can either be for or against. For Femi, his ‘for or against’ position constantly oscillates, and the pendulum always swings in the direction of the highest bidder. He stands for nothing and falls for anything.

He called Gen. Muhammadu Buhari (rtd) names and revealed the personal conversation he had with him and affirmed very firmly that Buhari is an ethnic bigot and an unrepentant tribalist. Suddenly, Buhari is no longer what he said he was as soon as he finds himself in the C-in-C’s inner circle of misguided sycophants.

Relatively, it is a lot easier for Femi to perfect his trade, etch an infamous trademark and create a dirty stream of income for himself because most of the political parties in Nigeria are not clearly defined with any specific political philosophy. They are, for the most part, ignobly defined by a sense of greed and ‘business as usual’ mindset. Unfortunately, Femi is a product of this ornate unprogressive system.

Politicians, like Femi, seem to have taken over all the seats at Nigeria’s dinner table. Unfortunately, when you don’t have a seat at the dinner table, you are probably on the menu list unknowingly waiting to be eaten. Unfortunately, this is the situation the masses have found themselves in. No future for the kids. No jobs for the graduates. No salaries for workers. The health and education sectors are in deplorable conditions. No social security plan for the retired and the senior citizens.

As if these are not enough sources of mental and psychological torture for the masses, they are now forced to contend with insecurity of lives and properties and politicians, like Femi, still scramble for what they could grab from the government coffers with absolutely no concern for the plight faced by the people. What a nation!

Femi is neither here nor there. To the agitators of Yoruba Nation, he paid them lip service pretending to be an official amplifier of their hues and cries. To the agitators of Biafra Nation, he pretended to wrap his arms around their dream to secede. To those who believe in one Nigeria, he assumed the role of a champion for their belief system to keep Nigeria as one. However, at the end of the day, he openly identified and deeply immersed himself in the course he once openly condemned – the Fulanization agenda.

With the actions of a self-centered politician like Femi who has continually viewed governance as a combination of source of income and an opportunity to enrich oneself while the masses, on whose dime his (as well as others like him) lavish lifestyles are financed, are continually impoverished, there are enough substantial precedents to necessitate a change in government.

I believe Nigerians now see the need for these over recycled politicians, with no clear vision on how to revamp the economy, to be replaced at all levels of government just so a new way is paved for the emergence of a genuine visionary that would provide a new direction for our dear country as a President in 2023.

I’ve seen a lot of them warming up for 2023, but I’ve not seen any with an impressive resume that is close to that of Prof. Kingsley Moghalu. I wish Nigerians could realize the power they possess to make a change and radically exert it to remove the clog in the wheel of progress of Nigeria by firing these selfish political jobbers and hire a President (and leaders at all tiers of government) with genuine intentions and a ponderable blueprint that is cleverly designed to modify the current trajectory and pave a new path to a viable economy for the country.

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